her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
