Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
