Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
