Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
