well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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