She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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