Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Me too!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize