Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
