You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
BRING THE BAGELS
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
