What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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