I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
