ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
