so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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