just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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