So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
