You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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