I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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