we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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