I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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