My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
