Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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