After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
