it wasn't lemon gatorade
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
