just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
