He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
