no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
