After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
