the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
