i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
