So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
