your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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