That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
