Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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