I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
