if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
