why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why is your signature on my underwear?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
