So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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