chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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