I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
