I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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