Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
