The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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