Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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