It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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