I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize