Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
