So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
