I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
