I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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