I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Randomize
