i just google imaged poop.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
