i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
