Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
