I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
