I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
