so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
