I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
