Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize