so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
