I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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