their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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