if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
