If that was your dad, he is hot
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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