I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pooping to opera.
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